Aaron the Librarian

How is it I seem to often make a splash with a story?

We had the General Meeting of All Faculty today, where the colleges introduce their new faculty to the teeming mass of the rest of the faculty. Doesn’t sound so bad, right? So the newest 26 faculty (including myself) do our calisthetics by Department. Then, after all that wraps up, the Provost does (as Provosts seem to do) his start of the year, make everyone grin story. Here’s (approximately) how he finishes up:

Oh, and one of our new faculty - I won’t mention him by name as this is could be kind of embarassing, but he is one of our new library faculty - has a story to tell himself. It involves a party, a wall sconce, breaking the President’s house, and a President’s hand between his legs. Oh, I’ve said too much… let’s move on.

Needless to say, I was the only new person listed in the Library Department and had some storytelling to do. I told the story ~9 times (including different details each time, as I get tired of telling the same story twice) between leaving the meeting and getting back to my office.

What was that they say about first impressions?